Experiential Therapy
What is experiential therapy?
If you’ve ever tried to search this term on the internet, I know you got bombarded with advertising for residential treatment centers. I can almost guarantee any article you saw was written by a copy writer, not an experiential therapist. Luckily for us, I happen to be both. I hope what you’re about to read will make the concept a little clearer, and help you decide if working with an experiential therapist is a good fit for you.
But first, let’s set the record straight:
Many people unintentionally misread “experiential” as “experimental.” These are NOT the same thing! Experimental therapy implies the method is new and lacks empirical research. This is simply not true for many experiential methods, including the ones I practice.
Now that that’s out of the way…
Here are some examples of experiential therapies people tend to be familiar with:
Art Therapy Play Therapy
Equine Assisted Therapy Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
What do all these methods have in common?
They work with your whole lived experience, not just your behavior.
They tend to be less prescriptive and more free-flowing than typical therapy.
Many recognize the importance of allowing the body to heal along with the mind.
They are action-oriented and often include literal movement, rather than sitting in a chair and “talking through” it.
One of the original developers of Psychodrama has a simple quote that, in my opinion, expresses what’s at the heart of all experiential methods:
“Don’t tell me, show me. ”
How can experiential therapy help me?
The short answer: Experiential therapy can help us find new solutions to old problems, or adequate solutions to new problems.
Experiential therapy does not prescribe solutions. Instead, it works to find the solutions that works for you right now. By tapping into our inner creativity and other resources, we can do things like:
Restore or deepen the connection to our physical experience
Understand our unique strengths and how to access them
Gain clarity on recurring issues and stop the cycle of no-longer-helpful patterns
Practice new responses in a safe environment
Connect with our wisest, most authentic selves
What does experiential therapy look like?
This depends on the clinician you’re working with. Obviously, you’ll be using art materials with an art therapist and movement with a dance therapist. But what about some of these less-obvious titles, like Psychodrama or Somatic Experiencing?
If art therapy uses materials like paint, markers, and clay, Psychodrama uses what you might call “theatre props.”
We use props in a variety of ways to support integration and healing. Most people training in psychodrama start out using scarves, then expand out to materials like hats, pillows, chairs, action figures, stuffed animals or puppets. One of my favorite props is a sand tray I used as a pre-licensed therapist when my office was too small to facilitate something truly “in action.” If we meet virtually, the props might be things on your desk or significant objects in your space. Some sessions might be more “prop-heavy” than others.
Somatic therapies use the physical body as the medium for healing.
Many of us tend to treat our bodies like we treat our cars—mostly ignored when they’re functioning well and cursed relentlessly when they aren’t. Problem is, our bodies aren’t cars. They’re living, breathing organisms that have a far greater effect on our thoughts and feelings than previously believed, based on emerging research. Somatic therapies bring the body and mind into greater connection by drawing attention to our physical awareness when thoughts or feelings arise. This can look like addressing subtle movements and patterns of activation, expanding your ability to feel the full range of emotions, and finding self-care practices that address exactly what your body needs (spoiler: it might not be a spa day).
Is experiential therapy better than talk therapy?
Not necessarily. Research suggests that therapy is most effective when you choose a therapist you feel safe with, no matter how they practice. That said, these two methods are so different, it’s kind of like comparing a pineapple with an apple. They’re both fruit, they both kind of sound the same, but you’re never going to mistake one for the other.
Many people are satisfied by what they receive in talk therapy. I find other people tend to fall into either the Iceberg Camp, the Backdoor Camp, or both:
The Iceberg Camp people sound like…
“It might be on a subconscious level, but I have figured out how behavioral therapies work and know just what my therapist wants to hear.”
“I’ve gone to three therapists for the same problem. It seems to help for a little while, but I always find myself back here.”
“I have a hard time telling my therapist when something isn’t working. When I do, they want to make it about me instead of the method.”
Behavioral therapy has a big focus on reducing symptoms, but it doesn’t always address their source. In other words, people stay on the tip of the iceberg (the symptoms), but don’t venture deep enough to determine and heal where the symptoms come from.
On the other hand, the Backdoor Camp people sound like…
“When therapists ask about my feelings, I don’t know what to say. I deflect, make a joke about it, or shut down all together.”
“I never know what to talk about when I come to therapy, even if my therapist seems really nice.”
“Therapists call me things like ‘resistant,’ ‘avoidant,’ and ‘challenging.’ I am constantly at odds with them.”
Some people need a “backdoor” approach into therapy: instead of facing their issue head-on (which can be very scary and overwhelming), they need to approach it from some other angle that’s more accessible. Maybe a gesture, movement, or picture can express their feelings better than words ever could. One reason experiential methods are quickly becoming the gold standard for those in recovery from trauma, eating, and substance use disorders is because these three issues frequently transcend what can be expressed in words and often linger even after the acute symptoms have stabilized.
If you find yourself in one or both of these camps, experiential therapy may be a great fit for you. By design, this approach tends to be more flexible and creative than traditional talk therapy.
How will I know if experiential therapy is working for me?
That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? You’ve invested the time, the money, and the effort into all this personal work—how will you know it’s paying off?
In my experience, many people start working with a therapist assuming it will be like working with a physician: they will identify the “problem” based on your “symptoms” and offer interventions intended to “fix” the “symptoms.” While I’m sure there are therapists who follow that exact model, I am not one of them (that’s why I used all the quotations.) Instead, I value your input as a co-collaborator and assume you will play an active, empowered role in your own healing.
There are two important aspects of this question that I don’t think get talked about enough:
Often, inner work gets harder before it gets easier.
Challenges and adversity in the therapy atmosphere are a good thing—of course, when they are handled judiciously, ethically, and with compassion. As anyone who plays an instrument or sports will tell you, there will inevitably come a time where your skills will plateau, you will encounter a seemingly impossible physical or mental challenge, or you will have a significant disagreement or conflict with your teacher or coach. While many people find the inner resources to overcome these issues in performance or sports, it is precisely the time when most of us end up quitting therapy. I’d like to offer that these times are where our most significant healing occurs— we can find that new solution to an old problem, or that adequate solution to a new problem, through working it out with your therapist.
Your process outside of therapy is just as important as your process in therapy.
There are about 730 hours in a month. You might spend two of those hours working with me or another therapist. If the other 728 hours are spent doing exactly what you always do, your progress is likely to be minimal. On the other hand, if you put effort into personal work outside of therapy, on your own time, you are likely to see progress much sooner.
That said, everyone’s experience of progress is different. Here are some common responses that tell me people are on the right track:
"This thing that used to bother me doesn’t feel like a big deal anymore,” OR “This thing still bothers me, but it doesn’t ruin my day anymore.”
“I am having a easier time knowing what I want/what is good for me in the moment.”
“Things about me that used to be confusing are now making a lot of sense.”
“I can feel happiness (sadness, angry, scared, etc.) without being overwhelmed by it.”
Where can I go for more information or to find an experiential therapist?
With the power of the internet, it’s never been easier! You can book a consultation with me, or explore what else is out there by searching your method of choice and your zip code. Two popular directories you can access are TherapyDen and PsychologyToday.
Personally, some of the best therapists I have worked with came from a word-of-mouth referral from a friend or adjacent professional (think massage therapists, chiropractors, life coaches, and yoga or other movement teachers). This cuts down on the amount of referrals you have to sift through!
Best of luck in your search!
-Carley